Are you being abused?

Relationships can be the most beautiful, or the most hurtful experiences in one’s life. While a happy, tender relationship can give one the strength of two to grow beyond one’s ordinary capabilities, an abusive relationship is emotionally, physically and spiritually draining, and can take you down a vortex of despair you’d rather avoid.

The scary part is, that most people who are in ‘abusive’ relationships, don’t realize this until it’s too late. And to blame is a common misconception – that a relationship isn’t really abusive unless one is being beaten or physically threatened by one’s partner.

Here are the danger signs that signal an abusive relationship. While reading the following, if at any point you realize that you are probably in an abusive relationship, I advise you to seek help immediately.


1. Your partner is overly jealous and possessive to the point of being unreasonable. He/she doesn’t like it if you talk to anyone of the opposite sex, and discourages you from spending much time with anyone besides them.

2. Your partner often questions your loyalty or accuses you of being unfaithful for no apparent reason.

3. When you fight, your partner always ends up turning the tables on you, even if it wasn’t your fault at all.

4. Your partner makes “jokes” at your expense that aren’t funny to anyone apart from him/her.

5. If you threaten to leave them, they (a) fly into uncontrollable rages (b) become unbearably emotional and cry copiously, or (c) jeer and challenge you to find someone who’ll “want you”.


6. You have reason to believe that your partner is keeping close tabs on your movements, mails and people you are meeting. He/she often tells you how you should be living your life.

7. Your partner has at any point in time, destroyed your personal property or belongings of sentimental value.

8. He/she has ever hurt or threatened to hurt you or your children or pets.

9. He/she abuses alcohol, drugs or medication of any kind.

10. Your friends and family have advised you that your partner is not good for you. He/she has something bad to say about everyone you are close to.

11. He/she makes sexual demands that you are uncomfortable with or forces himself/herself on you often.

12. You have “broken up” a number of times but have always got back because your partner has emotionally blackmailed you by threatening to hurt or kill him/herself.

13. Your partner wants to control all your finances for you.

14. He/she has affairs, or flirts behind your back but expects high standards of loyalty from you.

15. Often dictates what you wear and takes most of the decisions for you as a couple.

16. Has a history of bad relationships and is always hiding facts about them and running his/her exes down.

Source: by Akshata Joshi